FitJoy Mint Chocolate Chip: $1.99/Publix

While on our annual Kiawah trip, I didn’t get a chance to jog once because I had to work everyday, except one, while we were there. Tough to complain about “work” when you’re doing it at the beach, and the moment that I was cut loose in the afternoon, I hauled ass with a cartoon character puff of smoke at my heels, racing down to the beach. Without my early morning seaside runs, I didn’t feel as compelled to eat as many protein bars as I did the ones that fall into more of a candy-category, but I did happen to pack a FitJoy Mint Chocolate Crisp that I ate one evening after I eyeballed the mint chocolate chip Klondike bar that Joanna turned into a chocolate-cheek-smeared mess, as, after she finished eating it, she proceeded to literally lick her plate clean.

So while a FitJoy Mint Chocolate Crisp bar in no way resembles a Klondike, in temperature, texture, or even taste, it was still good and saved the day when I was particularly hungry, just like a lifeguard (of which Kiawah has none, just the occasional beach patrol truck rolling by to set up umbrellas) would save a jellyfish sting victim. Kiawah is a very vanilla beach, and I mean that in a nice way. It’s quiet, clean, and far from a “show-us-your-boobs” party island. Mostly families, golfers, and people just wanting to take it easy, many of whom are typically clad in basic “vanilla” swimwear. One afternoon siting on the beach awarded me with a bathing suit far from the vanilla category, more minty, if that’s even an adjective that I could describe this bright green shred of fabric barely held together with thin filaments of dental floss on a buxom gal who resembled the ladies vying for the hand of Flavor Flav on that old VH1 reality show. And like the “crisp” in this bar, her skintone resembles crispy pork rinds, overly-tanned. Hence my drawing in this bar doodle “Life Savah Flav” because if she needed saving on the beach, it would be from either losing her teeny suit, or getting a sunburn. 3/5

Categories: Miscellaneous

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