Oh Yeah! One Cookies & Cream: $1.20/Publix

White rectangles lighting up drowsy faces as seen through foggy glass rectangles framed in yellow. My morning jog had me passing four counties’ worth of school buses between 5:45 and 6:30 a.m. this morning, and each one contained, at the very least, half of the faces leaned against the window, lit by a cell phone. I don’t think the original Nintendo Gameboy had made an appearance yet when I was riding a schoolbus, but even if it had, it wasn’t likely that A.) this many kids could afford one, or B.) parents wouldn’t let their kids leave their house with such a high-tech electronic, or C.) buses wouldn’t allow kids to use electronics. What happened to daydreaming, doodling, talking to seatmates, or playing Slap Jack or War? I won’t even let Joanna bring her Kindle on the bus because I don’t see why she can’t entertain herself without staring at a screen for a busride.

I cringed and paused midstep when it looked like one of these buses was about to thud-thump right over a hoppity Thumper in the road. Even the girl waiting for the bus a few driveways away had the same “oh no!” look on her face. The bunny is okay, but I had a bus driver when I was in elementary school who was such a sadistic elderly dinosaur of a nutjob, he probably would’ve intentionally run over a rabbit. His favorite expressions were, “I see cake, I eat it, I see cigarette, I smoke it” – this was in response to anybody smuggling a Little Debby snackcake or cookie on the bus, or maybe if we were really young smokers, he saw us with cigarettes. The man reeked, and he said those two lines, always at the same time, frequently. And whether you were a boy or a girl, if you were late bringing payment, he’d barely have the door open before roaring, “you bring your check, boy?” Thankfully I didn’t ride the bus very long before my Mom settled me into a carpool routine with some neighborhood kids.

The white-colored bar that I had this morning looked very much like the white backlit phones with various icons dotted on them that I saw winking through the bus windows.  Oh Yeah! One Cookies & Cream bar is huge, heavy, white polka-dotted, dense, and surprisingly very good. Like Quest bar good. Chances are the dinosaur bus driver would’ve eaten it since it tastes close enough to a cookie dunked in milk or whatever cake-like treat that he would mumble about. I see Victory bar, I eat it, or at the very least, this flavor. 5/5

Categories: Miscellaneous

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