NuGo Slim Crunchy Peanut Butter: $1.99/RaceTrac

I want to eat at every new place that opens up so I can be the first to write a new review on Yelp. I derive a competitive pleasure from receiving the “First to Review” tag under my little quipy blurby. I’m not the Yelper who writes things only in an effort to receive free things, but from having worked in the hospitality industry several years ago, I’ve witnessed enough times that folks have found petty reasons to complain on Trip Advisor, or threaten bad reviews, in order to get free overnights, upgrades, buffets or spa treatments. I like reading reviews of products on Amazon before buying, and of restaurants on Yelp before eating at them, so I think it’s only fair to share reviews too. And there have been a few occasions where I’ve written an entirely honest account of a bad experience and the owner has followed up in an effort to offer me a free meal, or in one instance, a complimentary re-piercing of my eyebrow that got grody infected. So when a new seafood place opened up I wanted to jump on that ship, devour some ocean critters, and write about my sea-worthy shrimpy booty. Unfortunately their hours were so scattered with strange closings between mid-lunch to late dinner, and mixed days closed in between, that they weren’t open when I went and my stomach rumbled (for a pirate’s treasure chest glistening with fried shrimp and blackened grouper, I had hoped), so I settled for what was the saddest replacement for my new shrimp meal – a Nu Go Slim Crunchy Peanut Butter bar from a nearby convenient store.

There is no peanut butter, chocolate or any bar flavor combination that should be a substitute for salty morsels from the sea, but to tide me over til I would be able to get a substantial meal, that was the first bar that I hadn’t had before and that caught my eye on the store shelf. Thankfully it wasn’t an expired bar since it was displayed between a faded- wrapper Pop Tart and a crinkly Nature Valley. The bar was so very dry and lacking in texture or any component of peanut buttery interest that my brain and stomach remained so fixated on shrimp that I convinced myself I was eating a fish and chips, tartar and lemon-flavored bar. As vile as that sounds, if I ever saw a bar that declared shellfish or any sort of fish or its related condiments and lube in its title, I would have to try it out of bizarre fascination. But NuGo I think I’ve said this before, has several flavors that are a No-Go. And while I’m neither the first to review it, nor the first to review the seafood place that I so desperately want to try (another Yelper walked that plank before me), I should try to keep back-up bars in the car more often, check restaurant hours before driving there, and let Louise enjoy being NUde while she’s still widdle and wonderfully cute. She can have my peanut butter bar and I’ll try back for seafood another time. (She was a darling bare-bottomed baby last week on our beach trip where I was able to indulge in several meals’ worth of seafood delights.) 1/5

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Categories: NuGo

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