Curate Quinoa Apricot Lemon: $1.99/Kroger

Even if I am red-cheeked, wild-eyed, dripping in sweat, and swaying from exhaustion, I still like greeting everybody who I pass on the sidewalk when I’m running in the morning. If you have headphones on and you’re running, chances are I’ll attempt to high-five you (I’ve occasionally had this responded to with a quick rabbit hop away from me as if I’m going to smack you instead.) If you’re ambling towards me, you’ll get a toothy-smile and a “mornin'” even if it’s half-slurred from me. I don’t expect everybody to be a peachy-peach at 5 a.m., but I’ll take eye contact or a smile, something to indicate that you acknowledge that we’re both outdoors, both of the human race, both possibly exercising and both stewing in a sweaty funk. A few mornings ago, I passed a rotten peach who scratched her cheek and turned her head near-Exorcist style as far away from meeting my eye or responding to my greeting as she could. This didn’t deter me from being even more cheerful when I passed her again 15 or 20 minutes later, and this time she feigned adjusting her bra-straps with her eyes downcast during my approach.

That bad peach must have a stone for a heart, but oh wait, is a peach and an apricot the same thing? Or a nectarine or a plumquat? Since they all are stone fruits? I don’t want to be biased since I just really don’t like apricot, but I really, really don’t like apricot. I still wanted to try Curate Apricot Lemon since their packaging is so happy, but I just couldn’t like this. The tartness of lemon doesn’t belong in bars (excluding Quest’s Lemon Chifon Pie) and the apricot, well, it’s that sweet and squishy sensation that reminds me of Halloweens when one house inevitably gave out fruit strips or bags of dried fruit boogers. And being responsible kids who only wanted to eat candy anyways, we threw away mysterious “treats” that were put into ziploc bags. I couldn’t even bring myself to give a taste of Curate Apricot Lemon to Louise, who will eat any bar-bite that I break off for her. But when her eyes meet mine and she smiles, even if I am sweaty, or running past her to answer the phone or towards her to stop her from knocking over another plant, I’ll always smile back, and maybe even drawl a Southern peach’s howdy hon too. 1/5

 

Categories: Miscellaneous

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