Balance Bare Mixed Berry Nut: $1/Kroger

balancebare_mixedberrynut (4)“Balance Bare” on my screen keeps morphing into “Balance Beam” in my foggy vision. Stare at a screen long enough (in my case, bouncing between Animal Crossing on my 3DS, reading “Penance” on my Kindle, working on my laptop, and binging “GLOW” on Netflix on the TV – note that I don’t mention being a cell-phone zombie as my phone is a clunky, dated, small, scratched-up POS using Cricket, formely Aio, as my service) and eyes wonkify. Having no sense of balance, nor flexibility, I got as close to a fail as one can possibly get in P.E. the semester that we had to do gymnastics. I couldn’t walk on the balance beam, let alone perform a ta-da dismount, without stumbling like a fool. I think the only thing that I could do was a regular somersault, or maybe even a teapot. Backbends eluded my gangly legs and attempts at cartwheels resulted in me looking like a lowercase M on a bender. The best P.E. semester was the winter that we had bowling and got to leave school for one afternoon a week to eat lunch at Wendy’s and then bowl. And on our drive down towards Atlanta recently to have lunch at my parents’, I was happy to see that the bowling alley is still there alongside the highway. (Even in a very decrepit condition.)

I knew that lunch was going to be on the late side so I ate a Balance Bare Mixed Berry Nut to tide my rumbling stomach over, choosing to skip on the more chocolatey bars in my collection for something fruity and nutty as I was well aware that my Dad had made a no-reason cake. It’s like so many other nutty-fruity bars that are held together with a glossy sweet substance but requires effort to bite through, and the one happy quality of this bar is that every bite had a nice ratio of the fruit to nut flavor, whereas other ones might only award one with a single nut. Otherwise, I’m not really feeling the mixed berry flavor since it tastes artificial like the mixed berry fruit snacks where you can’t tell if a “berry” is supposed to taste like straw, rasp, black or blue. After falling down too many times trying gymnastics, my legs were black and blue, and in my tumbles, my stringy straw hair flopping in my face, I’m sure my squeaky teenage voice rasped out a few gentle curse words.
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