FitJoy Iced Chocolate Brownie: $2.69/Vitamin Shoppe

fitjoy_icedchocbrownie (3)I like crunchy corners resembling the long Tetris “L” piece, or at the very least, with crispy edges. Lasagna and brownies, and I have that pan that is a geometric mouse-maze of nothing but corners and edges for neurotic eaters like myself who want nothing but crunchy corners. Meatloaf, pot roast, French bread, I want the bunny ends. If I had a solid BBQ restaurant nearby, I would probably order take-out burnt ends all the time. Imagine my surprise when I actually enjoyed squishy tofu when I ate at a Japanese restaurant last night when I usually prepare mine of the super-firm, marinated, overly-baked to crunchiness. I’m planning to make a green frittata (or Kuku Fadfasdf) in a round pan so I could cut it into wedges but secretly cut off all the crispy edges for myself. It’s a Persian dish filled with a schmorgosboard of green herbs and spinach that I have to puree with the eggs so they’re hidden in a way to make the green dish Dr. Seuss-friendly to Louise. But wait, back to brownies. I don’t eat them very often but when I do, they’re in bar form, as in the case of this morning’s FitJoy Iced Chocolate Brownie.

Nothing Irish nor Persian about this brown rectangle, more like an all-American dessert condensed into an over-priced protein bomb. I ate half of it, and tucked aside the other half for when I finish the green frittata later on, and I’ll distract the girls from wanting a bite of what turned out to be a scrumplicious brownie taste (filling, not heavy on the “iced” portion, cakey and light enough to not fall into the gummy brick that other FitJoys seem to resemble) from wanting to have a nibble, a distraction I made in the form of kelly-green dyed sugar cookies with green sprinkles and a hidden addition of grated zucchini (I have no explanation for the recent flux of green; maybe my subconscious chef is trying to incorporate more of that colors into everything Louise ingests.) The circumference of the cookie didn’t have enough crispiness (and there’s nothing round in the Tetris universe) so these cookies just weren’t my jam. So may your day be green (but not with envy), may your yard be green (but not with weeds), may your skin not be pinched if it’s St. Patrick’s Day (unless it’s your fanny), may your pan overfloweth with crunchy rectangular yummies, and if not the latter, go to Ye Olde Vitamin Shoppe and pick up a FitJoy. 5/5

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Categories: Miscellaneous

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