FitJoy Birthday Cake Batter: $1.99/Vitamin Shoppe

fitjoy_bdaycake (4)My birthday is right around the corner, what late-30s age it is, my old lady brain forgets. I confuse myself with mid-20s-Ticia all the time. For too many years to count now, there is no question as to how my birthday is celebrated. The music festival in Athens, aptly-named AthFest, is always held the weekend before or after cuddling the date that I came into the world, a pink-cheeked girly baby with pale pink tushy the same happy pink as the wrapper of a Fit Joy Birthday Cake Batter bar. Fit Joy bars all have a color-coordinate wrapper in simple blocky text to give a small colorful-clue as to what the flavor is. And while I can’t remember a birthday of mine that involved eating pink cake, I can certainly concoct some AthFest memories that may have included a pink cocktail or two. The past few years of AthFest have veered into family-friendly zone (the block stretch of the festivities with “KidFest” activities such as bounce-house sharks and arts & craft tents) and have drastically reduced, if not eliminated, the bar-hopping, hotel-crashing, alcohol-infused meanderings of all of the years that we attended prior. And every year there’s a theme that carries over into the staff shirts, gear and schwag, so when we’ve purchased armbands or tickets in advance, sometimes we’re awarded an artsy CD with a compilation of bands showcasing the bigger stage of the weekend, or a tee-shirt or a tote bag. My “purse”, yes I am such a grown-up bordering on 40 that I am carrying a canvas tote bag from I believe 2011 AthFet where the logo was a guitar-wielding robot, a beige bag that’s taken on a grayish stained hue from using it daily as a purse and diaper bag and overall pit of crumpled receipts, bar wrappers, restaurant-filched Texas Pete and Splenda packets, and loose change, the color on the outside is similar to the sickly shade of the outside of the Fit Joy Birthday Cake bar, and the street food that I ate at AthFest the robot year was significantly tastier. Fit Joys have, for the most part, the most horrific texture and artificially-sweetened aftertaste. “Birthday Cake” should taste like yellow box cake mix with icing, not bottom of tote bag crumbs, smashed together into a rectangular shape, yet neatly wrapped in a cheerful pink and white package. 2/5

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Categories: Miscellaneous

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