Kroger Crunchy Oats & Honey: $1.99/Box of 6/Kroger

krogercrunchy_oatshoney (2)If I could add another line to the Sound of Music’s “Favorite Things” song that’s equally as charming as all of the whimsical likes and loves of Maria, it would be butterfly kisses. Not only are butterflies just so floaty, pretty, and not to mention all the intricate patterns in their wings that I love to doodle, but the eyelash tickles that Joanna flutters to my face when I tuck her in at night. Le swoon, she is growing up so quickly and I cherish tender moments like this. I can’t think of anything more fragile than a butterfly’s wings or antennae, and I never want to be the cause of one or the other breaking. I’ve only recently encountered my first dead butterfly – yes, nearly to the start of my 5th decade of existence (gagging) and I’ve never seen a butterfly corpse until recently, maybe because I like to think that they’re so light they’re whirled on a soft breeze directly to a special insect heaven where no roaches are allowed.

The antenna are probably like a Kroger Crunchy Oats & Honey bar – you barely breath on this thing and it starts to shatter into little crumbs and pieces. Or maybe a delicate stem of a flower that the butterfly takes a break on, something just as dainty that a whiff sends pieces a-scatter on the wind. I’m not suggesting that a butterfly’s antenna or a flower stem be a protein-infused rectangular snack, but if a butterfly were flying near me and I so much as sneezed, I would think that its antenna could be pulverized by my achoo, just as a Kroger Crunchy bar can’t be unwrapped, eaten or glanced at funny without little oat niblets soaring. But does it taste good … sure, it tastes remarkably similar just like its Nature Valley counterpart, but my teeth can’t jive with the hard texture. Dipping it in coffee was not an improvement either. This Kroger brand of bar won’t make its way into a few of my favorite things. 1/5

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Categories: Miscellaneous

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