Luna Dark Chocolate Mocha Almond: $1/Kroger

luna_dkchocalmondmocha (3)Eep, did my peepers deceive me when I crouched in the bar aisle in Kroger and see capital letters announcing “New Flavor!” on a Luna bar package? I mean, I’ve never had my eyes checked ever, so there’s always a chance that I don’t see things as well as I think I do. Would I terribly mind if I was told that I needed glasses and I got to pick out some nerdishly-cute black rectangular frames? All I have is some cheap reading specs that I picked up at, go figure, Kroger and when I read at night I occasionally remember to put them on, but more often that not, the lenses are smeared with sweet Louise fingerprints from when she was trying them on.

Lately her favorite thing to try on is underpants on her head. It sounds cliche – like a parent who puts cake in front of their 1-year old in the hopes of getting that perfect cake-smeared photograph, or the parent who intentionally puts undies on his or her kid’s head. Except Louise thinks that undies go on her head, and she doesn’t care if it’s mine, Joanna’s tweeny emoji-printed hipsters, or Daddy’s floppy pizza-printed boxers. I’d like to say that my collection is all cute, cheeky Victoria’s Secret rhinestone and slogan-emblazoned, but I like Costco cotton cost-efficient comfort. And Louise isn’t picky – if laundry’s being folded, then there will be undies yanked over her head, little eyes peek-peeking from leg holes. And her blazing blue eyes couldn’t be further from any color resembling dark chocolate, nor their shape resembling almonds, yet I peer into her curious toddler absorbing-the-world-and-all-its-newness orbs, and I think to myself, “damn, I could really use a Luna Dark Chocolate Almond Mocha bar.”

Luna’s new flavor has taken on a more slender shape too. It’s not quite as wide as original Luna bars, but its flavor doesn’t disappoint. It is absolutely decadent, like a rich Starbucks drink sprinkled with almond bits on its whipped cream dark chocolate infused top. Scrumptious! And if I let my eyes blur out even more, maybe the wrapper will take on a three-dimensional Magic-Eye image rather than me seeing how much sugar is actually in this Luna bar. Who am I kidding – I was never able to succesfully see anything in those Magic-Eye pictures despite straining my eyeballs almost giving myself a migraine trying to see the boat? The mountains? Abraham Lincoln riding a unicorn? 5/5
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