Goodness Knows Strawberry Peanut: $2/General Store

goodnessknows_strawberrypnut (3)Gentle rectangle-reader, you may notice that the main image for this Goodness Knows Strawberry Peanut Dark Chocolate bar is that of Louise gazing adoringly at said bar during last week’s trip to Kiawah Island. I’d just returned from a long bikeride, thanks to my MacGyver Dad who had /cough/ “opened” the locked rental bikes that had been left behind in our cottage, procuring two free beach cruisers for the week. My weary legs pedaled furiously past the hashbrown and maple bacon nostril-soaked aromas wafting from the vents of the Sanctuary and instead wound up at the General Store on the complete opposite side of the island for an assortment of bike basket snack treats.

Lovingly, and innocently naive to me as a 12-year old, referred to by my brother and I as “The G-Spot”, he and I used to bike there for fried chicken, potato wedges and coconut popsicles nearly every afternoon when we were at Kiawah. The General Store has undergone quite a makeover but still carries overpriced beach toys, sunscreen, bait, beef jerky, and pork rinds. I asked the clerk if they sold donuts, and instead of directing me to an endcap with generic brand, conveniently-wrapped miniature 8-packs of puffed O sugar-dusted bombs, he Food Network’ed my sore-from-the-bikeseat-ass and suggested that I buy a can of Grands biscuit dough, sprinkle them in cinnamon and sugar and deep fry them. I withheld my chuckles (surrrre, beach cottages are always equipped with fry daddies) and went with a Goodness Knows bar, a small package of Bilbo Baggins donuts, maybe Bimbo or Bobo, and a pack of gum to later try to chew on the beach in an effort to keep my mouth busy and away from ingesting another several hundred pistachios. (Hold up, is there not a Goodness Knows bar with pistachios in it?)

Returned from my bikeride and shared the four perfectly-manufactured squares of the bar with Joanna, Louise, my Dad and myself, and while we all agreed that it tasted like a cheap dessert you would be served at a prom (chocolate covered strawberry platter nestled between punch bowl and pigs in blankets) it still tasted good. This may also be a trick of the tastebuds and the tummy that make just about everything taste better when you’re on vacation, so I may have to judge this bar again another time now that we’re home. Bathing suit-clad Louise ate her square voraciously and then demanded one of the wee donuts (significantly higher in sugar than the Goodness Knows), whereas I dumped a pile of pistachios into a ziploc to take down to the beach because the chocolate layer on the bottom of a bar would’ve become a melty, albeit delicious, squish. 5/5

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P.S. please excuse the chipped gray nail polish in the picture above. Making sand castles isn’t conducive to maintaining a manicure, and the cottage had neither fry daddy nor nail polish remover.

Categories: Miscellaneous

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