Kroger Sweet & Salty Almond Yogurt: $1.99/Box of 6/Kroger

kroger_sweetsaltyalmondyogurt (3)There’s this street in the neighboring neighborhood where, the first time that I walked down it, I was overcome with an eerie end-of-the-world sensation as there was not a single car on the road either parked or in motion. I then noticed that both sides of the street were lined with homes that only had front doors and walkways, and that there garages and driveways were on the backside, facing separate streets. This morning I jogged down that same street before dawn, giving it an even more Walking Dead Avenue feel, especially with one of the homes that had at least 10 ultra-white energy-saving lights pinpointing across its abnormally flat (with those perfect lines that I try to maintain from vacuuming my carpet!) yard, taking on a snowy, chilled effect. It was all I could do to imagine blood splatters across that perfectly cold white yard in the lingering moonlight.

My unhealthy obsession with zombies (but occasionally healthy-ish eating habits) started with Resident Evil 1 and cringing half-covering my eyes when I navigated Jill Valentine down the first hallway towards the munching noises. If the zombie apocalypse cometh, I will stock up on baaaaaaars. In my head that works, but on my screen all it
resembles is a pirate’s voice. Or I will stock up on braaaaaains while I’m running in my sports’ braaaaaaa. The bar that I ate after my morning jog has a flat, matte white bottom that looks like that creepy yard, except instead of chemically-treated weedless grass, this is “yogurt flavor coating” courtesy of a Kroger Sweet & Salty Almond Bar. As with all bars that have a yogurt coating instead of a chocolate jacket, I appreciate that it’s just on the base and not entirely concealing all the bar’s guts. For the store-brand cheap cost, I’m digging this bar and I would gladly set aside several boxes of these should that neighboring street birth a shuffling mass of the undead. 4/5
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