Paleo Simplified Chocolate Coconut Almond Crunch: $1.99/Whole Foods

paleosimplified_coconutalmondchocolate (5)Well, this Paleo Simplified Chocolate Coconut Almond Crunch bar is interesting. The texture is like fruit-leather, and I can taste a whole lot of coconut, but not really getting any chocolate, well, maybe a mere smidge of chocolate, making me think that “chocolate” shouldn’t be the first word in the flavor’s name. I love the list of ingredients: it may not be as short and sweet as that of a Lara Bar, but that really is a whole lotta Super Food! The “dried cherries” in the list of ingredients (or maybe the goji berries?) must be the reddish dots that I’m seeing.


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Unfortunately, I was only able to find this bar at Whole Foods, and not entirely cheap at that. I’m anxious to try their other flavors, but “Paleo Simplified” is just such a whackjob name. I’m kind of over the paleo, raw and gluten (not-for-health-necessity) obsession. And no, I’m not saying that the 5% of the population w/ celiac disease isn’t important, but why does everybody else need to jump on the gluten-free train, and why is Paleo the new Atkins? If ones really wants to really embrace his or her inner caveman (or cavewoman) don’t use a stainless steel 6-burner gas stove with high-end kitchen appliances and utensils. Sharpen a stick and build a fire. And to make a bar like this one, well, you’re going to have to forage for berries and seeds and coconut and honey and cinnamon and spirulina and fashion them into a bar. Ooohhoooohooohahahah. That is my Cavewoman translation to “Open designer handbag at Whole Foods, buy pre-packaged bar.”

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Categories: Miscellaneous

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