KIND Pressed Pineapple Coconut Chia: $1.49/Whole Foods

kindpressed_pineapple-3I had some pretty wacky hair my 2nd year of college. Some would compare me to either Lisa Simpson or a pineapple, depending on what stage of the bleaching process I was in. Towards the start of my foray into short spiky hair, my hair was more Simpson yellow than white, but after considerable chemical treatments (and amazingly, no hair loss), I achieved white white white spikes. At that point, I graduated from using L.A. Looks extra-strong hold gel to Murray’s pommade. Nice and greasy and leaving splotchy blobs on my pillowcase at night. There were a couple of notorious Athens parties where I pinned small glittery butterflies and flower clips at the base of each spike. Raver or punk rock or consignment chic or hippie, I wore whatever I dug out of my drawer. But I’ll never forget my Dad comparing my head (with a sad, slow paternal shake of his) to a pineapple. Yes, his darling Doodlebug’s experimental college days were more devoted to hair chemicals and questionable styles rather than ingested chemicals and questionable relationships. (Tom and I were a couple for most of our college years.)

He likes cans of pineapple popped open and poured over cottage cheese. I like shredded coconut sprinkled with chia seeds over yogurt. I wouldn’t put all of them together, nor will I ever trust that creepy texture of cottage cheese. KIND takes the non-dairy ingredients of Pineapple Coconut Chia and “pressed” them into a brown spotted bar with the mysterious smooshiness that’s more like cottage cheese than yogurt, but thankfully without that taste. It’s way too tropical of a bar flavor for my liking as I’d rather that my pineapple coconut quality come in a parasol-festooned colorful cocktail served with an ocean breeze on the side. To my Dad’s delight, my hair is now back to its basic brown, not very unlike the color of the KIND Pressed bar. 2/5

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