Q’ia Dark Chocolate Cranberry Almond: $0.49/Kroger

qia_dkchoccranberry-3(A yellow “Woo-hoo!” sticker on a Q’ia Dark Chocolate Cranberry Almond bar urged me to buy several. Are they discontinued, stale, or gross? Let’s take a bite, shall we?) It tastes like something that would be shared around a hippie commune’s emu farm while chanting a meditative Ommm or Mmmm. Its taste is somehow simple and complex at the same time, which I attribute to that magical union of tart cranberry and rich dark chocolate, neither of which are ingredients that would feature on a hippie’s farm, but for some reason, I feel that each meditative chew and enjoyable swallow make me feel … zen.

Even the word “Qia” I could slowly repeat in and out in an attempt to slow my rapid stressed-out heart-rate. Dear reader, do you recall my car accident last Fall? Well, a massive ER bill decided to make an appearance in my mailbox, a bill so large it threatens our house-hunting, loan-seeking, and our attorney at the time claims to have never received it, and of course the hospital just wants its money. Just thinking about that innocent envelope, perched on its side in my mailbox makes me want to either curl into a pose of quiet breathing meditation and clear my brain of how we will resolve the issue, or just eat a few more Qia bars so that the chocolate works its sweet way into the agitated knobby zone of my brain. 3, 2, 1 qiaaaaaaaaaah. 4/5

Categories: Miscellaneous

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