think Thin Protein Maple Almond: $1.49/Kroger

thinkthin_maplealmond-3Let’s start with my doodle: “There’s an ol’ say’n out on the bayou, that ‘CHOMP'”, or if we’re properly quoting The Simpsons, it’s actually “Wheee!”, uttered by Ralph Wiggum when he is being thrown to Chief Wiggum from the hands of the mob mayor of New Orleans. In our house (where we’ve never visited Louisiana before other than driving through on a long straight white stretch of I-20 interstate) our knowledge of all things Creole include my bombass slow cooker Gumbo recipe, my fond love of the 1986 Sierra classic PC game “The Colonel’s Bequest”, and one sad very unattractive attempt at making a King Cake one year. We’re definitely familiar with alligators from our many years of spotting, avoiding, and waving to the gators around Kiawah; Louise likes to call them “Chomp-chomps”, just like bunnies are “Hop-hops.” Course the say’n round our parts is more about wild rabbits hopping around front yards rather than gators, so there’s that.

Opening up Think Thin’s Maple Almond bar and the sap-like smell of syrup reminds me of the smell of my King Cake when it was baking. I don’t know if there are traditional flavorings or ingredients, rather than the cake is supposed to hide a small baby and be decorated in purple, yellow and green and draped in a baublery of beads, but mine had a touch of molasses and cinnamon, and because I knew that children were going to be eating it, I actually chose to hide an almond instead of a baby, not wanting anybody to choke. You can for-shame me all you want for the possibilty of said children having nut allergies. I can’t keep up with all of the allergies that roam around schools now and I’m OK with not preparing PB&J’s but if I’m asked to make a very specific cake (that I don’t believe can come from a box mix, let alone the specific decorations and colors involved), I’m going to choose to keep the eaters of the cake from choking on a toy.

(Which reminds me of the cake slices at a jewelry store in Sandy Springs, probably also around 1986 that was celebrating its anniversary by tucking small gems (one grand prize diamond) wrapped in foil in several of the slices of cake. Biting down on foil makes my face hurt just thinking about it, but I did in fact get two teardrop aquamarines and one yellow topaz in my cake slices because my Dad let me sneak back into line a 2nd time.) So Think Thin, high protein, with no prizes inside, and this flavor’s taste really does make me think of my King Cake, especially since my cake had a touch of molasses and cinnamon in it, not to mention the hidden almond-baby. I prefer Think Thin’s protein/fiber bars that are less calories only because their higher protein ones are like bricks settling in my stomach when I finish them, which is probaby how that King Cake tasted to anybody else who ate it; I’ve never eaten one that isn’t thick and dense. If an alligator crawled out of a swamp in need of protein, I’m sure it would choose cake over a bar. 3/5


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