Kroger Crunchy Granola Peanut Butter: Box of 6/$1.99

krogercrunchy_pb-3My morning jog awarded me a view of what I thought was one freakishly large cat stretched in the middle of the street, and as I neared it and a pool of light from the streetlamp illuminated the furry heap, I see that it’s actually three cats schnuddled around one another like curved puzzle pieces. I didn’t really want to startle the snoozing felines, but my footfalls on a few crunchy leaves (a small sign of approaching autumn? yay for leggings and ugly chubby boots!) scattered the cats, one of which did its hissing arched back vicious pose. Unless a cat is declawed and sweetly living indoors where it can’t leave bird corpse gifts on one’s doorstep, I don’t want any part of them. But an indoor cat needs to do its brown business in a litter box, and kitty litter looks like the broken shards of a Kroger Crunchy Peanut Butter bar. Or maybe the other way around is nicer. Nicer to Kroger, or nicer to the cats, I’m not sure. Thankfully, the strong peanut taste makes up for the appearance, but my teeth aren’t happy with the pebble-like crunch that it requires to get through the initial bite.

I’ve never eaten kitty litter or cat food before, although I had to quick hustle Louise away with a firm jostle from a bowl of catfood (in all fairness, it LOOKED like a trail mix of goldfish graham crackers) at a friend’s house one day. If we were facing a stock-up-for-a-storm, I would eat this Kroger bar again, but if I had to choose a bar for a happy nosh, I need something softer, and not one that pulverizes into tooth-enamel-breaking chunks. Good thing it doesn’t feature a diagonal chocolate drizzle not unlike so many other bars, otherwise I would think it would even more greatly resemble kitty litter with a blob of well, you know. 1/5


Categories: Miscellaneous

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