No Cow Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip: $2.99/GNC

nocow_pbchocchip-3Some people’s sniffers respond to smell in such a way to quell stress, evoke childhood memories, increase libido, conjure nostalgia, increase energy or what-have-you. Essential oils are being dribbled into necklace pendants and bracelet charms and not just dabbed on one’s wrist. Candles are burning peculiar scent combinations that can produce a headache or promote relaxation. On my run this morning, I became enveloped in what I can only describe as sexy damp cedar. Early morning dew had settled on a shiny brand-new gleaming expanse of a recently-erected fence in somebody’s backyard. I won’t go so far as to say that I was turned on, but I definitely slowed my pace as I circled the cul-de-sac of this house and let the smell of dewy, new construction fill my nostrils. I’ve never been the biggest fan of shopping in warehouse home improvement stores, but if they all had this smell, I’d be game for more tool-shopping. I would entertain a shopping excursion to Home Depot if it smelled like this morning’s fence, even if I encountered the same sexist jack-hole in the paint department who soured my last Home Depot (Spout Springs location, see my Yelp) shopping stop.

No Cow Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip bar looks like a slat of the fence that I jogged past; it has that same flat, pale brown quality, but I guess it’s a good thing that it smells like peanut butter and not cedar. It has the texture and blobby appearance of a Power Bar but tastes much better. I found this bar in the same errand-run as the above Home Depot day when I scampered into a GNC in the same shopping complex, and I’d never heard of them before, grabbing a few with a quiet “moooooo” to Louise who wanted to squirm away from my arms to roam the colorful vitamin and supplement aisles. I wonder at what age smells start producing a response from nose to brain because even when I hold something up to Louise to smell, she makes an exaggerated snorting sniff, but never seems to react in any way. I can only guess that damp wood wouldn’t be a sexy smell to her. Maybe peanut butter chocolate chip cookies coming out of the oven would elicit a response from her. And despite its bland packaging and ugly mouth-feel, this bar is a tasty explosion of peanut butter chocolate chip, and not so high in calories that I feel the need to add a couple extra sprints into my run tomorrow, unless it’s past that fence again. 4/5

Categories: Miscellaneous

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