That’s It. Cherry Apple: $1.99/Starbucks

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“That’s it!” (exclamation point and not period) was my sing-songy response to Louise, irked that her few bites of a That’s It Cherry Apple bar were finished so quickly. I’m glad that I’d tucked this into my bag for a very brave shopping excursion to (insert laughter here, I deserve it) Ross. Do I even know the difference b/t Ross, TJ Maxx, or Marshall’s? Nope, but I do know that finding a booty of a deal in good condition and in one’s size takes its own treasure hunt, or maybe riding atop a cherry picker and getting an eagle-eye view of rack after rack of bargains. I haven’t been clothes shopping in my three-dimensional form since b4 Louise’s birth, instead going for online shopping which oftentimes results in dud duds. I was attendingĀ  a friend’s little sister’s wedding and feltĀ  like I was in need of a new dress since I still
have nursing dresses, maternity dresses, and even my 9th grade homecoming dress in my closet and in b/t is a pile of flowy, hippie dresses, more appropriate for lounging and loafing rather than sipping champagne w/ my pinky sticking out while I stuff my face w/ bacon-wrapped scallops.

It was a risk, I know, taking a toddler into a clothing store, but she started out doing OK, perched in the front of a shopping cart and chirping happily to other shoppers, and to her new favorite lovie, Shirley “Crazy-Eyes” Sheep. The moment that the dressing room door shut behind us w/ a clinical swipe of the lock against the scratched and bruised fluorescent-lit beige-gray (bleeeeigh) metal door her attitude went immediately into squeak-out mode complete w/ ear-piercing wails and chubby tears. To get through a whirlwind of fabric and dresses whooshing over my head, I pulled out my Kindle and settled her on Sesame Street’s “A Monster At the End of the Book”, which held her attention til … the end of the book. Spoiler-alert, the monster was Elmo all along. She threw my Kindle on the floor. Retrieving it and reluctantly returning it to my bag, I spy That’s It Apple Cherry and quickly tore into it. I’m the parent who squealches a snit w/ food, and the same goes for me; hangry Ticia usually just needs to stuff carbs in her face-hole. This bar is like those fruit-leathers that I remember being sold near the yogurt-covered raisins and chocolate-covered peanuts (the “fancy”, non-bagged candy section) at the grocery store. It’s great that the ingredients are just what they say they are and nothing more, but if I had chosen to jam a Gala apple in my purse, I would’ve rather have eaten that. This tastes like a rubbery Luden’s cherry cough drop dipped in apple shampoo. It should TASTE like fruit, but I can’t get past the inky-black texture. Louise wanted more, but after our few shared bites, sorry babe, that’s it. And the dress that I ended up w/? It’s more like 3 dresses. 2/5

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Categories: Miscellaneous

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