Kellog’s Pastry Crisps Red Velvet: $2.99/Box of 5/Kroger

kellogscrisp_redvelvet (3)A week ago, I had a spontaneous urge to bake red velvet cupcakes; maybe my brain drew inspiration from an episode of Bobby Flay’s Throwdown over red velvet cake. It’s not a dessert that I particularly like, but for some inexplicable reason, I went against my normally neurotically-organized ways and started throwing things into mixing bowls w/o checking as to whether or not I had all of the ingredients beforehand. First I ran out of sugar and I knew the cake wouldn’t be quite that sweet, nor would it end up having cream cheese frosting, both b/c of the lack of sugar but also b/c I only had a couple plops of cream cheese left in the fridge. Then I didn’t have cake flour – no big deal, I can improvise w/ cornstarch and all-purpose flour. No buttermilk, no problem – lemon juice and regular milk in a pinch. Then I find that I only have half a tiny vial of red food coloring, so the batter veers into brown territory. And no cupcake liners, well, let’s say that the final result was what I called “Brownish Velvet Bundt Bread.” Toasted w/ cream cheese for breakfast, it turned out pretty good.

Kellog’s Pastry Crisp Red Velvet tasted like my “cake.” It was missing that something – something that gives it its unique taste. The Kellog crisp is good and it has the same soft texture as the other flavors, but somehow, like my cake, it’s lacking a “red velvet” quality. It has the right color though, unlike my cake that looked more like the color of ground beef as it’s just starting to brown. See, I’d much rather have a meatloaf than a cake; in fact, I’ve been known to make meatloaf “cupcakes” in a muffin tin, w/ mashed potato frosting, green pea sprinkles, and carrot candles. Savory > Sweet. 3/5

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Categories: Miscellaneous

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