Curate Strawberry Pistachio: $1.49/Kroger

curate_strawberrypistachio (3)New bar brand butterflies! Louise was throwing Phoebe the Bunny, shrieking in distress, then squealing w/ delight when I retrieved her … only to do it all over again, and again, and again throughout Kroger yesterday. I made a mad dash through the natural/organic section for tofu, only to let my eye briefly wander to NEW BARS! What is this Curate flavor called? “Irresistible Dark Chocolate Strawberries & Pistachios. Toasted Oats, Quinoa, Dark Chocolate, Almond Butter, Pistachios, Strawberries” there are too many words dancing around on the label, like a fashion magazine that has seizure-inducing promises of true love, wealth, perfect eyebrows, be organized in 30 minutes, and embarrassing beach memories splayed across a torso. I’m going to guess that the flavor’s name is Curate Strawberries & Pistachio as the top of this bar is a festive, chunky and cheerful red and green array.

Pistachios are my go-to road trip snack despite that well after the return drive, I’m picking shells and squiggles of papery slivers of pistachios out of my carseat crack and my butt-crack for weeks until I drag the vacuum out. And of course any loose pistachio orbs that had defective shells w/ no little sliver in which to jam my stubby fingernails to pry out the salty crunchy green meat. We have a monster road-trip right around the corner from Atlanta to Dallas, w/ the kids and possibly straight
through w/ no overnight. It will require alot of pistachios, bars, patience and hopefully some audio books downloaded to my Kindle that we can all agree on, you know, like 50 Grades of “A”, the parenting book that I will be writing about helping your kids mathebrate, which is supposed to be math + celebrate, and not what we’re not ready to think about our kids doing alone in their bathrooms. #staylittleplease. 5/5

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Categories: Miscellaneous

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